As we embark upon a new year, Nilah Ulhaq from our Family Law Team discusses the various options that exist to resolve the important issues which arise following the breakdown of a family relationship.

If you are going through a separation, there will be lots of things going through your mind. You may need to think about 1) childcare arrangements, 2) a division of the family assets/debts, and 3) payment of any financial support between you and your former partner.

Following a separation, some people will speak with a lawyer for guidance. Others can be nervous about doing so and might think they only need a lawyer if relations are super acrimonious. If you have recently separated from your partner, you may not know where you stand, and often that uncertainty can then lead to anxiety. By speaking with a good lawyer, that uncertainty and anxiety can be removed as they talk you through the different ways forward and come up with the best resolution for you and your family.

Negotiation

The most common way to sort out matters following upon a separation is through negotiation. That can be directly between you and your former partner (and in that case, taking advice from a lawyer beforehand can be helpful). Or, negotiations can take place with the help of family/friends, or with the ongoing assistance of your respective lawyers. Some people wish to keep a distance from each other following the breakdown of their relationship. In that case, appointing lawyers may be the best option. Lawyers can negotiate on your behalf, allowing you to step back from the situation. A good lawyer will guide you through the process whilst offering constructive, reasonable and solution-oriented advice on the way.

Whilst negotiation is often the most common way to resolve matters, it is not the right choice for all separated couples. There are other options.

Mediation

Mediation can be a very useful tool to assist separated couples in agreeing a range of matters following upon a separation. An independent Mediator can help you agree matters relating to your children and/or financial matters. You would both firstly meet with the Mediator separately to discuss your goals and what you wish to achieve from Mediation. You would then meet with the Mediator together in a neutral setting – the Mediator would facilitate your discussions to try to help you both reach an agreement.

If you wish to discuss Mediation further, please get in touch with our Team’s Accredited Family Law Mediators.

Collaborative Process

The Collaborative Process (also called “Collaborative Practice”) could be described as a cross between negotiation and mediation. The Collaborative Process involves a series of 4 way meetings between the former couple and their respective lawyers (who must be collaboratively trained). This process allows former couples to resolve matters by communicating directly whilst also having the advice and guidance of lawyers throughout the process. The idea is that the former couple and their lawyers work together “collaboratively” to try to resolve all relevant issues.

Our team has collaboratively trained lawyers who can guide you through this process.

Arbitration

Sometimes, unfortunately issues do arise which require an adjudication by someone else. Whilst traditionally, that would involve a Court process, an alternative is “Arbitration”. You and your former partner (with the help of your respective lawyers) would jointly choose an Arbitrator to determine the matters in dispute between you both. The Arbitrator would usually be an experienced family lawyer. Your cases would be presented to the Arbitrator by your respective lawyers. The Arbitrator would then make a decision which is final and legally binding on you both.

The benefit of Arbitration is it is a lot quicker than traditional Court proceedings and so will often be much more cost effective. Arbitration is also entirely confidential, unlike a formal Court process.

Court

The vast majority of separated couples will never have to enter a Court room – and with good reason! Court should, in our view, always be a last resort. It is expensive, takes time, and always comes with risks. It also takes the decision away from you and puts it in the hands of a Judge or Sheriff. That said, in some situations, Court is required and appropriate. However, even if Court proceedings are raised, that doesn’t stop you from resolving matters by agreement away from Court.

Our team has highly skilled litigators within our ranks, with experience in both child related and financial disputes.

So, which do you choose?

That is up to you! It is important that you choose a method of resolution that works for you. How you choose to resolve matters will often have an impact on what is actually agreed. In our view, the best way to resolve matters is one which is constructive, cost-effective, timely, and has as little impact as is possible on you and any children involved. We also firmly believe in solution-driven approaches, rather than entering into arguments about issues which usually simply inflates costs and drives people further apart.

Our team has experience in resolving matters in various different ways – tailoring it to you and what you need. If you wish to discuss any methods of resolution in more detail, please get in touch.

Related News, Insights & Events